Have you ever felt like your living situation was just too overwhelming?
You come home at the end of a long day, completely exhausted and all you want to do is relax and put your feet up.
But you can’t. Because there’s dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry is piled up so high that it’s taking over half of your bedroom and your roommate has left a trail of shit so long you can tell EXACTLY where they’ve been? #humantornado
You are not alone.
I too have been entangled with people who simply don’t pick up after themselves. Leaving my apartment to resemble a barn and my sanity to be, well, non existent.
Inevitably there came a time where it became so bad that I had to reevaluate my living space and my relationship!
Why? Because I no longer felt safe and happy in my space and I knew that something had to change.
I was being called to act NOW or accept the fact that 30 years down the road, a friend would call me up and say “Hey Keisha, I was just flipping through channels and saw you on an episode of hoarders!”
I refused for this to be my fate.
How can you crush your goals and create a life you love when your environment is chaotic and stressful?
You can’t.
Set Your Boundaries
Learning how to create healthy boundaries in any relationship is crucial. Whether it be a roommate, partner or family member.
You know better than anyone else when you’re being stretched too thin and spending time focused on the wrong areas of your life. And let me tell you, having to waste your precious energy on an argument about whose going to wash the dishes is NOT worth your time.
Achieving solitude is essential!
This can be difficult to achieve when you’re sharing your living space with others, unless they are operating on the same wavelength. These people will put your mason jars back in the cupboard with the label facing out like the true earth angels that they are. #blessyoursoul
Coming home to a clean and tidy space is a boundary of mine. When my environment is cluttered, my mind feels cluttered and I can’t function at my best.
Without unexpected messes or rowdy energy, I am able to fully decompress and reflect on the events that have taken place throughout the day.
Now in order to achieve this blissful oasis at home, you must first acknowledge your boundaries and create a plan that feels right for you. Start to ask yourself,
Is my personality more introverted or extroverted?
Do I feel recharged in solitude or surrounded by others?
How does my current living situation make me feel?
Am I willing to spend more to live on my own, or spend less and share my space with others?
Once you take the time to get real with yourself and what it is that you value, your boundaries will become abundantly clear.
Create a Routine
From the time I was little, I’ve been taught to create and implement a routine.
Finding your groove and creating a system that promotes work-life-balance can be tricky, but it’s absolutely necessary if you wish to improve your mental health and overall quality of life!
Setting yourself up for success starts at home.
It starts with creating structure and honouring your bodies need for adequate rest, nourishment and movement. These things take time but after a while you’ll be able to do them in your sleep! I promise.
Don’t forget that if something isn’t working for you or needs to be adjusted, you can always change it. Nothing is set in stone and flexibility is your friend.
Ultimately it all boils down to your end goal.
What resources do you need in order to crush your goals and limit the amount of stress along the way?
The secret is to simplify.
When you no longer have to worry about conflicting schedules or additional tasks on your to-do list, building and sticking to your routine becomes that much easier. Prioritize what absolutely must get done and remain consistent!
Showing up for yourself daily will yield positive results over time and before you know it, you’ll be crushing your goals without having to sacrifice YOU time.
And whether you’re an introvert who prefers your own space or an extrovert that thrives living with others, your routine is in your control.
Blissful Oasis
Calm energy can seem quite foreign to those of us struggling with our mental health. Even more so if you’ve ever had to deal with an anxiety disorder.
Environmental factors can feel overwhelming and downright unmanageable at times, especially if you’re trying to prioritize everyone else’s needs above your own.
We spend all day interacting with others and sometimes we just need a little peace and quiet.
Ideally you’ll want to try to cultivate a space that make you happy and promotes relaxation. This is where the 5 senses come into play and can really make or break your overall vibe.
Below is a list of ways I try to create soothing energy in my home to help myself unwind and recharge.
Scents – essential oil diffuser, candles, or incense (I love lavender and bergamot to create a calm energy)
Visuals – art, throw pillows & blankets, plants etc.
Auditory – your favourite music or movie as background noise
Taste – home cooked meals, snacks, tea or coffee
Touch – soft, comforting textures (how many chihuahuas can I actually fit into my apartment?)
This is where you get to have some fun and fully express yourself!
What colours, scents, and sounds are able to bring you back down when you’re feeling stuck on the hot mess express?
What can you do to feel comfortable in your space and establish a well deserved sanctuary to call home?
Safety First
The root of human existence revolves around us feeling safe.
When we are lacking stability in our lives, our instincts kick in and act as a driving force to protect us from danger or perceived threats.
One of my biggest (and perhaps most irrational) fears in life is ending up with absolutely nothing. No money, food, or place for me and my boys to rest our heads at night.
I can’t be the only millennial that’s come dangerously close to living in a cardboard box on the side of the road can I?
We can’t predict the future anymore than we can control our pasts. But we can decide how we want to live in the present moment.
This means saying no to manipulative people who try to control or abuse you. They can take their toxic energy and unhealthy behaviour somewhere else.
NOT to your home. NOT in your safe space.
Your safety comes first, always!
If an imposter or violent person has found their way into your home, please use the link I’ve provided below to get help.
At the end of the day, whether you decide to fly solo or live with other people is up to you.
Your living situation should allow you to set your boundaries, create a routine, enjoy your blissful oasis and last but certainly not least, feel safe!
You deserve it, and your mental health depends on it.
Keisha V.
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