Yes, you read that correctly.
I’m diving into the not so glamorous side of my femininity and exposing my menstrual cycle for what she really is. An evil, satanic force to be reckoned with!
Am I being over dramatic? Maybe.
Can most of my girlfriends out there relate to this statement? Probably.
PMS (Premenstrual syndrome) can be a very real struggle.
Not to mention the fact that our cycle occurs every month, 365 days a year, averaging approximately 10 years over the course of our lifetime.
I’ll just let you sit with that for a minute.
If only the Tampax commercials held an ounce of truth.
Tanned, sporty women running around in white tennis skirts, full of energy without a single blemish! Not that you would notice as you’re too distracted by the misleading smile spread across their face.
I’ve never loathed marketing more than when they try deceiving me with a bullshit tampon commercial.
Now take a second to imagine your worst case of PMS.
You know those days when you don’t even know how you’re feeling because you’ve cycled through every human emotion over 10 times?
You're bloated, lethargic, and in such excruciating pain you’re contemplating your interest in daily living.
Are you there? Great.
What might happen if your brain chemistry was teetering back and forth or not functioning as it should?
Girl Interrupted psychosis, that’s what.
Side Effects of PMS
Premenstrual syndrome presents itself differently from woman to woman and typically falls somewhere on the scale of mild discomfort to straight up blazing hell!
For some, side effects are more mild and unpleasant than they are completely debilitating.
I once dated a girl whose only symptom was her physical period itself and I’m convinced to this day that she’s a witch.
Needless to say, below are a few side effects that remind me of my divine, feminine superpowers each month.
Intense food cravings
Mood swings
Exhaustion
PMS can last anywhere from 7-14 days, or less depending on the person.
During this time, our hormone levels begin to fluctuate impacting our bodies natural ability to properly secrete serotonin.
Poor serotonin, she’s so easily disrupted.
PMDD (otherwise known as Premenstrual Dysphoric disorder) is a more severe form of PMS. Side effects include intense feelings of depression, anxiety, and irritability 1-2 weeks prior to your period.
Some of us may also experience,
Severe abdominal cramps
Hormonal acne
Increased irritability
Intense Food Cravings
Severe food cravings can really sneak up on you. Especially when you’re struggling with a hormonal imbalance.
All you want to do is sit down and indulge in your favourite dessert!
I’ve been there. In fact, I still give in from time to time as I haven’t quite mastered the art of self control.
Let's just say it's a work in progress.
Over the years I’ve learned to tune into how I feel after consuming certain foods to gain a better understanding of what my body needs.
Because I’m typically hungry 24/7 and craving nothing but sugar and carbs, I've started incorporating more nutrient dense foods into my diet that actually make me feel full.
I’ve listed a few of my fave’s below.
Sweet potato
Eggs (yolk specifically)
Dark chocolate (every girls dream)
Blueberries
Mood Swings
As our hormone levels begin to fluctuate, so do our moods.
You may notice yourself feeling exceptionally sensitive during PMS and that is to be expected.
Try tuning into your body in order to identify what it's trying to tell you.
Feel the feels and allow them to pass through you during this transformation.
Exhaustion
Do any of you remember back when you were a small child and your parents had to fight with you to go down for a nap? Same.
As an adult I fully regret these standoffs and sneak in a nap any chance I get.
During your menstrual cycle, estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate as your body prepares to shed its uterine lining.
Although we can’t physically see this taking place, our bodies are working overtime and depleting us of our natural energy stores.
You feel like you could sleep 24/7 and yet still be completely exhausted!
Inadequate rest severely impacts our ability to function on a good day. Throw your period into the mix and we’re talking borderline narcolepsy.
Severe Abdominal Cramps
Every month for the last 15 years I’ve experienced menstrual cramps so severe I’m convinced I’m going to die.
Seriously, this is my fate, death by period.
And I wouldn’t wish this gruelling pain on my worst enemy!
The culprit? Endometriosis.
Endometriosis is a condition that involves tissue growing on the outside of your uterus rather than the inside.
Severe pain during your period is the most common side effect for most women and can seriously impact your ability to partake in regular day to day tasks.
My 16 year old self recalls all too clearly having to bus to my doctors office once a month to receive a shot that would allow me to go to work without curling up in the fetal position.
These days my heating pad and a bottle of extra strength Aleve are the perfect concoction to combat cramping when I’m unable to curl up in bed and throw myself a pity party.
Hormonal Acne
So here’s the thing about acne.
It has the power to absorb any and all confidence you once had until all you want to do is curl up in bed and hide your hideous pizza face from the world.
What’s worse? The more time you spend stressing about your breakouts, the more cortisol your body produces which creates even more acne…it’s a vicious cycle.
As someone who has suffered with acne my entire life, I could only dream that adulthood would include a dreamy, china doll like complexion!
Unfortunately this just isn't my reality.
Hormonal acne rears her ugly head every month and I've had to learn to simply embrace it.
Everyone gets zits and this doesn’t make you a hideous swamp creature who is unworthy of love and happiness.
Increased Irritability
Someone cut me off in traffic. “How dare they!”
A coworker interrupted me. “Are you serious?”
The lineup at Starbucks is a mile long. “Did they not know I was coming?”
Allow me to introduce you to my shadow self. The completely irrational, impatient, and irritable part of my personality that takes over when I’m hormonal.
I am an empath by nature and it pains me to ovary-act in situations that don’t warrant this kind of behaviour.
As women we often experience increased irritability during our cycle.
Our body is going through a LOT of physical and hormonal changes simultaneously and this can cause us to feel on edge.
But there is hope!
I’ve come up with a few methods to help us women get through this messy shit show each month.
You're welcome.
Chart Your Cycle
Knowing when to expect your period is a life saver!
This precious bit of information can help ensure you are adequately prepared for the emotional rollercoaster to come and leave you feeling prepared and in control.
There is an unlimited amount of resources and devices out there to assist us in charting our monthly cycles.
I use my fitness tracker from Bellabeat because it’s specifically geared towards women!
You can do everything from chart your cycle, monitor your daily water intake, keep track of your fitness goals, AND record your sleep schedule all using one simple device.
Bonus points for the fact that it’s designed to look like a regular bracelet and not overly sporty. I have zero interest in ruining a perfectly good outfit by strapping a tacky rubber band to my arm (its just not my vibe).
No surprises means I can rest assured knowing exactly when to expect side effects of PMS in addition to my period itself.
Extra Rest
The female body is truly an exquisite work of art.
Our ability to reproduce another living, breathing human being is proof of our undeniable strength and bonafide magic! Simply put, we slay.
Which is all the more reason to listen to our body when it starts sending us signals that it needs more rest.
Just as our muscles require rest to restore themselves, our reproductive system is no different.
If you’re tired, prioritize your sleep and allow yourself to recharge without feeling guilty for lacking in productivity. It’s ok to take a nap, in fact I encourage it!
Nothing beats the mental clarity derived from a blissful slumber.
Take a Bath
It’s amazing how quickly a hot bath with a few drops of your favourite essential oil can transform you from a grouchy, lifeless princess into a full blown radiant queen!
Essential oils have SO many natural benefits from aiding in relaxation to decreasing stress levels and soothing inflammation.
Below are a few key EO’s I make sure to keep stocked at all times.
Lavender (calming + anti-inflammatory)
Eucalyptus (antiseptic + antispasmodic)
Bergamot (stress + pain reliever)
Peppermint (vasodilator + pain reliever)
Submerging yourself in a tub full of warm water is also a great way to provide relief from menstrual cramps!
If your heating pad or hot water bottle isn’t quite cutting it, hop in the bath and take advantage of some pain free R&R.
Temporarily Decrease Social Interactions
Just because I’m riding the hormonal roller coaster from hell, does not mean that the people around me should have to suffer too.
I try my very best to refrain from inflicting my misery onto others by temporarily removing myself from the equation.
Not only would I rather partake in an endless love affair with my bed, but in doing so I take a more proactive approach and am genuinely coming from a place of love.
Obviously there are certain scenarios where retreating isn’t necessarily an option, like at work for example.
This can be tricky because human interaction plays a large role for most of us in our careers. I’m impatiently awaiting the day that “stay at home dog mom” takes off.
If closing your office door just isn’t an option for you, I suggest taking more frequent breaks.
Make yourself a tea, go for a walk outside, or listen to some music. Taking as little as 5 minutes to be alone with yourself and gather your thoughts can decrease your irritability and grant you the strength you so desperately need to push through your day!
Navigating your way through the ups and downs of your mental health can sometimes feel like following a roadmap without a final destination.
It’s messy and complex and we can’t always find the answers we are searching for.
For all my ladies out there, I 100% understand the increased psychosis surrounding our menstrual cycles and the impact this has on our overall ability to function.
I feel you. I’ve been there. And I still struggle from time to time. After all, we're only human.
Tuning into our body is truly one of life’s greatest gifts.
If you’re willing to acknowledge your needs and shift your lifestyle in order to obtain a more harmonious balance, you can regain control over your emotions and kick PMS and her gruelling side effects to the curb.
You’ve come too far to let her win! Death by period is not your fate.
Keisha V.
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