As I sit here reflecting on my journey towards sobriety, I still can’t believe I’ve made it to my 1 year milestone.
It’s crazy as hell!
Originally I quit drinking in an attempt to conquer my crippling colitis symptoms and it definitely provided me with some immediate relief.
I mean, I had always known I was a highly functioning alcoholic. But it wasn't until last year that I was willing to face my addiction and alter my lifestyle.
Numbing my pain meant I could mask my trauma and avoid dealing with a lot of deeply rooted insecurities.
I honestly didn’t know what to expect or how I was going to get there. All I knew was that I needed to make a drastic lifestyle change in order to course correct and pave a new path for myself.
Within the first 30 days I noticed an alarming amount of physical changes starting to take place.
My acne had improved and there was a natural glow to my skin that didn’t previously exist. The wrinkles around my eyes started to disappear as my body became less and less dehydrated and I no longer resembled Yzma from the Emperors New Groove.
It was shocking to watch my body transform in such a short amount of time!
As my self confidence began to increase, I was finally able to acknowledge the damage I had been putting my body through for the last 10 years.
The realization that I had been willingly poisoning myself for so long was exactly the wakeup call I needed to keep on going.
One day at a time.
Needless to say, these last 12 months have taught me a LOT about sobriety and mental health. If you're looking for a reason to kick your nasty drinking habit to the curb, I've got you covered.
Increased Cognitive Function
I’m sure most of you can relate to the brain fog that follows a heavy night of drinking.
I’ll never forget the day I woke up in my bed with no recollection of how I’d gotten there.
I immediately started to panic and woke up my girlfriend with a million questions.
What happened last night?
How did we get home?
Why does it feel like someone hit me in the back of the head with a hammer?
Well as the story goes, it would appear I threw myself into a snowbank and tried to drive a limo into our house after one too many G&T's.
Thankfully the limo driver was able to pull the keys out of the ignition before I was able to do any serious damage. #thankyouuniverse
“COULD YOU IMAGINE?!” he screamed in utter disbelief.
Yes sir, yes I can imagine.
Our inhibitions often fly right out the window when we over consume alcohol, causing our intoxicated self to do things our sober self wouldn't dare!
When we remove alcohol from the equation, we gain control over our behaviour and no longer have to worry about the poor decisions we've made while under the influence.
No more gruelling anxiety and guilt following a blurry night out.
Increased cognitive function is an absolute treat.
Not only are you able to remember the events that took place the night before, but you can actually wake up with a clear mind and crush your day!
Stabilized Mood
For as long as I can remember, the highs and lows of my mental health have felt like a never ending emotional rollercoaster.
More often than not, I would find myself highly irritable, extremely sensitive or completely withdrawn when masking my mental health with alcohol.
One night on my way home from the club, I had gotten into an argument with my partner and decided to jump out of the car at a red light.
Believe me when I tell you I woke up 3 hours later after having passed out by a tree on the side of the road, lost my phone and had zero recollection of what happened.
This unsuccessful attempt at drowning my emotions with gin put me in a very risky situation and unfortunately this used to be a regular occurrence.
After only a few short months alcohol free, I noticed my overall anxiety and mood fluctuations starting to stabilize.
This is because alcohol acts as a depressant.
Although it may initially seem like it helps to take the edge off, it can very quickly flip the script and send us into an emotional tailspin.
Removing alcohol allows our body to regulate itself naturally without elevating our emotional state.
Decreased Stress
One of the most rewarding byproducts of sober living is the decrease in stress levels.
Not only is alcohol insanely expensive when you’re consuming as much of it as I was, but it also attracts a certain kind of crowd.
I had become so used to vibrating on such an intense frequency that I couldn’t imagine what life might be like without the chaos and toxic relationships I’d cultivated.
During the Vancouver Pride Festival in 2017 I attended a very boujee pool party with some of my fellow dancers. We’d danced in the parade for over 2 hours and were ready to let loose and have some fun!
Don’t get me wrong, we certainly had a good time…from what I can remember.
At least until I woke up 15 hours later projectile vomiting everywhere. I had never experienced this kind of hangover in my entire life! I was sweating profusely and so weak I could barely move.
Turns out we’d actually been roofied by someone at the party and I’ve never felt so violated.
Who were these people I’d managed to surround myself with, and how had I made it out in one piece?
You see, we don't always stop and think about the unsavoury environment we are putting ourselves in when we choose such a high risk lifestyle.
These things can happen to anyone but they are much less likely to occur if you're sipping a tea from the comfort of your living room binge watching Gossip Girl.
Your stress levels decrease when you go from worrying about someone slipping something into your drink, to worrying about whether or not Dan and Serena are getting back together.
As a result, chaos becomes a distant memory rather than your life anthem.
Strengthened Relationships
Let me just start off by saying I am in no way surprised that I used to attract extremely unhealthy friends and partners into my life. I was absolutely not the best version of myself either!
All of my friends drank in excess and I couldn’t attend any sort of social function without downing a bottle of wine before leaving the house.
Shortly after moving to the west coast, I became friends with my hairdresser. We would spend countless hours chatting over wine, having dinner, or drinking at the beach.
Looking back on it now, alcohol was always present when we got together regardless of the time of day.
Alcohol brought us together and led me to confuse addiction with friendship.
Alcohol severely clouded my judgement in the friend department.
When you end up connecting with someone over your shared love of cocktails and spend all of your time together getting lit, it becomes difficult to maintain a healthy relationship.
If getting sober has taught me anything, it's this.
Your true friends are the people that support you becoming the best possible version of yourself. They genuinely care about your well being and won't enable you or fuel your bad habits because they are invested in your success and refuse to sit back and watch you crumble.
Your relationships only get stronger when you remove alcohol from the mix. And this is worth its weight in gold!
Sobriety is such a beautiful and messy process.
Some days you feel like you have it all figured out, and the next you're barely hanging on by a thread.
There is no one size fits all when it comes to recovery and everyones experience is truly unique to them.
For those of us struggling with our mental health, it is absolutely crucial that we refrain from self medicating with drugs and alcohol.
Addiction is an ongoing battle. But I can assure you, you’re worth the fight.
Keisha V.
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